day eighteen

so i’ve been blabbing all this time that quitting was easy, i’m a natural-born quitter, i do not need yosi rather yosi needs me, yosi is so five years ago, etcetera yadda yadda yadda. i’m sure most of you would say after this month i’d be back on it. some of my friends actually said that i’ve done this before nothing new same old same old. if i need to be specific let me just state that it is extremely easy to resist smoking BUT it is very challenging to ignore the void left by it.

yeah there is a void. that is the flaw in my plan. now this void is complicated, i have these periods of time that are suddenly available and i have a routine that cannot be adjusted abruptly. i’ll describe the routine some other time. the point is to completely achieve my goal i must also remove the void. the void is part of the temptation.

so to address this stupid flaw, i could possibly do a number of things. the simplest of which is to cure the oral fixation, you know that addiction to doing something with your mouth which absolutely does not make sense to me. like i shared before, my father did it with candies and i guess it is usually the first solution for a quitting smoker. but i like my teeth, i intend to be with them until i die or at least most of them. besides my cousin advised me not to eat a lot of candies and gums anymore because of my fillings. imagine yourself eating candies everytime you are bored, are having a beer or coffee, need to do number 2, and so on. looks stupid huh? candies are for desserts oki? owkay next then..

nicotine patch? i’m pretty sure i’m not addicted to nicotine and using a patch would not help achieve my goals either..

sports is feasible, of course i’m too much of a football fan to follow other sports religiously but it still wouldn’t fit the void left by smoking. i think i need something simpler and lighter..

drawing? the problem with me is i cannot draw “on purpose”, meaning it starts with the hand rather than the mind. so if i am forced to draw when i’m not inclined to i’d be more frustrated because i wouldn’t like what i see. oooowkay i’m a hard sell..

watching tv or playing video games, well i’m picky on the games i play and the shows i watch. i’m actually considering buying a psp for the storage rather than the games.

music trip? seriously i think wearing earphones all the time would dull your hearing and you would end up being a hard person to talk to. don’t wanna be like that.

getting a txtmate? um it could be a disaster because its kinda creepy and i won’t spend a lot of money on unlimited txting just so i can let the time fly. but honestly i have a txtmate who claims to be a girl living in batangas named wtfisjen in my contact list. she’s not a regular txtmate, someone who will just send txts from time to time and just share what’s happening with her or her problems and i would reply like a robot and say “oki lang po” and give generic advice only. but this txtmate makes me feel i am helping someone so i guess its kinda selfish. ooooooooowkay a little too much info..

starcraft? hard to find shops with starcraft and i don’t play it in 3 minutes. it. take. more. because. starcraft. fun..

blowing bubbles out of my mouth? disgusting but shamefully i have to admit i can really do this. its one of the talents i got from the pool, you know, getting all these nice talents and skills instead of mediocre ones like singing, dancing, playing musical instruments or at least good basketball skills. noooooo, i got bubble-blowing. so useful..

sleeping? nah, i prefer sleeping long hours..

counting random objects? i’m not that desperate to get a solution..

coffee? no i don’t want to substitute coffee addiction to a smoking habit. i already have cola addiction..

more cola? not helping!..

gardening? i can only do that at home..

bonsais? it’d probably die..

baking? not that big on pastries..

crochet? be serious!

random smiling? sheesh! oh wait, i think i already do that subconsciously..

keeping still? my brain might shut off from the lack of oxygen. if lack of oxygen is even possible in my case.

finding a cure for this mild schizophrenia? aaaashiyaddap!

hay what is something simple, easy-to-do, easy-to-drop, not expensive, can be done anywhere and fun?..hmmmm